Finding Petrichor

Hello! If you’re reading this, I want to thank you for stopping by. This site is one I’ve wanted to start for some time now, as the topic is near and dear to my heart. Depression and anxiety are things I’ve struggled with for years. While there have definitely been some highs in life, the lows always seem a moment or a breath away. Like if you look too hard, you’ll find the cracks and see right through.

But then in our world today, to be successful, you can’t let melancholy be your overall presence. So you find a mask and settle in to play a part that gets you through the day, the month, the year…

Before I go any further, I want to start by clearly stating I’m not a medical provider and I do not have any medical background, to include counseling or psychology. Nothing I’m going to talk about should be construed as medical or clinical or therapeutic advice. Everything that I know is what I’ve figured out over the years, either on my own or with the help of my therapists. If you are suffering or in crisis, please call 911. Know that what has worked for me may not necessarily work for you, and vice versa.

Ok, now that the disclaimer is out of the way, back to business.

I chose the name “Finding Petrichor” for another blog I started back in 2013. That project languished five years later, but the inspiration for the name did not. Have you hear of petrichor? It’s one of my most favorite things in the world. It’s that earthy smell that accompanies rain after a long period of warm, dry weather. When someone says, “I smell rain,” that’s petrichor.

When applying a coming rainstorm to life, it can mean one of two things: 1. it can be a light rain that leaves everything green and fresh and light, or 2. it can be a torrential downpour that wreaks havoc with floods, tree damage, and lightning. Which is to say, you can have a turning point that can go one of two ways, basically, good or bad. And it seems the same with life (not to sound too pessimistic). But it’s the reality, right? Things can go one way or another. And when you’re living with depression and/or anxiety, life can take very different directions, where things are either quickly bright and sunny or they’re dark and looming.

When they’re dark and looming, life still goes on, doesn’t it? We often don’t have the luxury of holing up in our bedroom for days on end, waiting for the storm to pass. We still have jobs, bills to pay, kids to drive to soccer practice, groceries to buy…those things don’t wait for us. And that’s where the phrase high-functioning depression/anxiety comes in. It’s where we put the mask on and keep performing and keep showing up and keep doing the things.

I want you to know, if this sounds like you, you are not alone. Since it’s not an official clinical diagnosis, we don’t have the numbers, but if you’re nodding along with me, you know it’s a thing. And you know it’s hard. Really hard. And that’s why I want to write about all the ways I’ve found worked (and didn’t work) in case maybe some of these ideas could help you. Again, I’m not offering medical advice. These are only ideas, girl-to-reader that I’m talking about over coffee. But, damn, if they might help just one person, that would be amazing.

If you’re struggling, I’m sending you big hugs and I hope you can, in time, find solace. And if you’ve gotten this far, thank you for following along. Some days I might be really wordy (I warned you) and some days I might show up with just a sentence and a quote or a meme. But either way, I’ll try to show up, because that’s what we do, right? 😉

xoxo, Olivia